it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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