apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
