Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's rum buckets o'clock
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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