U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
