I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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