lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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