Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
