I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
