gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
