You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
