Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize