This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
