and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
