I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
