Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
