I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
