yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
