i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
