Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
