Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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