He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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