please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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