he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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