And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I wear drunk well.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
