Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
