making cat noises will not fix the situation.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
