Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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