There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Randomize
