would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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