We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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