Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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