I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
