At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize