so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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