why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
