the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
