At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
