and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
