I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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