Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
