Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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