it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
