you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
