She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
