Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
