do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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