um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
