OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
