if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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