I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
