Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
