I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
