My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
