I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
