but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
