the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
