I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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