But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize