i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i think my cat just said my name.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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