New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
