New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
