that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i think my cat just said my name.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
