Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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