i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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