Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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